When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.
In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.
And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.
And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.
And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.
And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just came saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.
And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him.
And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.
And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.
-16 year old girl
Did I reblog this already I dont care
Rape is the only crime on the books for which arguing that the temptation to commit it was too clear and obvious to resist is treated as a defence. For every other crime, we call that a confession.
why the signs are sad
- Aries: Is extremely independent so all they know is to pile way too much pressure on themselves. They end up doubting their own abilities and are often never comforted because they're always perceived as energetic & optimistic.
- Taurus: Everyone depends on them because of their trustworthy demeanour. This means they bear the burden of their own and other peoples issues. Because of their stable nature, changes/natural stress can result in crippling anxiety.
- Gemini: Is determined to keep up their bubbly façade. They try drown their own issues out with good times & long talks so they're never alone with their own thoughts. Nobody knows about the internal identity crisis that is destroying them from the inside out.
- Cancer: Tearing themselves apart trying to decide what they want in life. They dwell on the past and constantly can't decide between their resentments and their fears. Theses contradictions often prove to be too hard to handle and make them prone to breakdowns.
- Leo: Always worried about what the world thinks of them. They hide it well but they are very sensitive to the slightest comments & their ego is insatiable, often requiring them to over-think things and question themselves. Sadly, Leos value their dignity fiercely and will suffer in silence to keep their pride intact.
- Virgo: Their thirst for knowledge and order have them constantly over-analysing every situation. Their brain is always striving for a purpose so without being assured that they are essential to someone, they can be left feeling useless & dejected. Barely anyone can sense their struggles because they are so detached. They appear cold and unapproachable when they are actually afraid of being hurt/rejected.
- Libra: Consistently seeking peace and acceptance. They give themselves endlessly trying to make others happy and in the end are left asking who they really are. Because of this, they lack self-confidence and desperately try complete themselves through the approval of others. They're always tired from trying to prove themselves but just can't will themselves to stop.
- Scorpio: Nearly always misunderstood. This aspect combined with their hesitance to trust leaves them with few people they can confide in. They're very picky with who knows what about them because they feel secure with full control over a situation. When something goes wrong within their plan, they are intensely anxious over the result and keep their strong fear of failure hidden from everyone. They're so bottled up that their emotions can hit them like a brick wall at any point, leaving them broken with nobody to talk to.
- Sagittarius: Barely ever gets sad. So energetic and enthusiastic that they feel held back by emotional obligations and attachments. They perceive sad spells as wastes of energy and prefer to be seeking knowledge and exploring their world. On the rare occasion they are sad, it's probably because of another persons selfish actions, still, their hurt won't last long and they'll come back learning a lot from the experience.
- Capricorn: Constantly tiring themselves out while they try to prove themselves. Underneath their strong, collected exterior is an uninterrupted feeling that they are unworthy. Because they seek structure and approval, they need to be told that they are appreciated to sense the security they seek. Without acknowledgement from people around them they become vulnerable and will only continue to blame themselves.
- Aquarius: Seemingly above emotions. They are driven by their intellect and will see things for what they are instead of over-thinking something and unnecessarily making themselves sad. Often, they will take the criticism and disagreements of others personally and with offence but the dejection usually won't last long. Their biggest weakness is their detachment from others. This can lead to a disregard for other peoples feelings and eventually their own. Can be in denial about their sadness for a long time before they seek help.
- Pisces: Has a knack for making things worse for themselves. Their sensitivity and loyalty often has them suffering for the sake of the people they love and leaving themselves no choice but to escape their own problems. Inside, their emotions are often extreme and conflicting so when they finally feel the weight of their issues, the aftermath can be severe. Their escapist ways of self-indulgence and procrastination only serve to amplify their sadness and unless they're constantly stimulated by their situation, they can dangerously spiral into a routine of self-pity & negligence.
"If you are unaware that you have been severely conditioned from birth, then you have been conditioned right out of your own mind."
Bryant McGill (via psych-facts)
"If it doesn’t add value to your soul: Leave. Don’t look back. Don’t reply."
MR (via kushandwizdom)
The most dangerous thing society teaches boys and men, especially white boys and men, is that their emotions are objective logic and reason and that anyone who disagrees is being irrational.
"Eventually soulmates meet, for they have the same hiding place."
Unknown, (via kushandwizdom)